


Let Him Eat Cake

by MasterChachki



Series: The Noodle Dragons Band [7]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, band au, i promise there's a whole thing about how they end up in a band but let me post this, i wrote this ages ago but nOW ITS RELEVANT, this was supposed to be much later but whatevs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 11:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterChachki/pseuds/MasterChachki
Summary: Hanzo seems like the kind of guy who would be disgusted by the mere mention of cake. That couldn't be further from the truth.This time, Genji is a good brother, Jesse is surprised, and Hanzo really loves cake.





	Let Him Eat Cake

**Author's Note:**

> So okay this was written sometime in June according to my google docs files. I was gonna post this after I'd finished the next chapter for the first part of this and posted like, a bunch of other things set in between. However, I finally sat myself down to listen to Hanzo's new voiceline and I am dead. Dying. I have never heard him happy and it killed me.
> 
> So since this is relevant, I'll post it while it is. The kids have winter break next week so I'll have time to finally work on the main part and get the last two chapters out! //OTL
> 
> ...this is why I tried to write as much of it as possible before I started posting anything whoops.

One would not think it from just meeting the man, but Hanzo loved sweets.

He really fucking loved sweets.

Cakes and pastries in particular, but he never really seemed to indulge. The only people who knew were Jesse McCree and Genji Shimada.

And Jesse had only seen him eat just a few pastries.

It started years ago, when Hanzo was just a child. On his fifth birthday, someone had set out the three tiered birthday cake on the table and left it unattended. 

Now Hanzo was a very obedient child. He did what he was told and did not speak out of turn. It was why the elders liked him as much as they did. So they didn't feel the need to watch him too closely.

That was a mistake.

They hadn't noticed Hanzo had slipped away and climbed the table that held the cake. He’d managed to eat through almost half of the bottom layer by himself and still looked like he would keep going if given the chance.

That mistake wasn't made again, and poor little Hanzo had a stomach ache later that night. Surprisingly though, that didn’t change anything for Hanzo himself.

They limited how many sweet things he was allowed, but they did give him the largest slice on his birthday as a small reward.

It wasn't too terrible until he was about twelve and his brother was ten. Hanzo had already started to become incredibly wary of large groups of people, and even though security was high on his birthday, the Shimada clan allowed too many people onto their estate than he was comfortable with. He did his best to remain calm and greet those around him, but his already empty well of patience was beyond used up.

Genji knew this and decided to take matters into his own hands. He had done research on a small restaurant nearby and asked if he could rent it out for about an hour. After finding out who he was, they cleared a room in the back. He studied when security would be at its lowest and when Hanzo would be least likely missed and planned his escape from there. He even bribed a few of the guards and guests to not mention anything for that whole hour. It was easy at the time, as Genji knew how to how charming he could become.

Genji’s plan wasn’t too extravagant, but when he tugged Hanzo away, they made a clean escape. Hanzo was unsure of all of this, in fact he almost immediately dragged Genji back, but then Genji said two magic words: ‘cake buffet’ and Hanzo stopped.

There was such a hopeful and wonder-filled look in his eyes and little Genji knew this was exactly what his brother needed.

Admittedly, he knew it also had to be a once a year thing too because somehow Hanzo managed to fill and eat four full plates of different cakes and was about to get more before Genji dragged him out.

He hated to do so, but really he was worried his big brother might hurt himself if he kept going. Some sort of self-preservation instinct had turned off the second he laid eyes on the buffet.

However, his brother thanked him with the biggest smile he'd ever seen on him and they snuck back home...for Hanzo to eat yet another large slice of cake that was saved for him.

Genji decided that for the following years, he'd make sure to only sneak off after Hanzo had had his slice of cake...just to be on the safe side.

\---

Jesse didn't know about Hanzo’s sweet tooth until one day he took him to see his parents. Gabe and Jack were up to their usual, ‘let’s see how much we can embarrass our kids with our ooey-gooey love’ routine when Hanzo caught the faint hint of sugar and yeast and his gaze became unfocused.

Jesse noticed that Hanzo wasn't paying attention to what his parents were doing and asked, “What’s up, Han?”

Hanzo paused and shook his head, “It’s nothing, something just smells sweet?”

“Oh yeah, Gabo made some  _ conchas _ and shit the other night for Sombra’s bake sale. So of course, he made too much, would either of you like some?” Jack said from across the room.

“ _ Conchas _ ?” asked Hanzo.

“Oh shit yeah, I think yah might like ‘em! They're like sweet bread with a cookie on top!” Jesse answered. “They’re brightly colored and  _ papá _ makes some o’ the best around!”

Hanzo nodded, an eager glint in his eye.

“Well then, help yourself!” said Gabriel, rounding the corner. He was carrying a large platter that held at least ten  _ conchas _ , some pink, some yellow, but all delicious and soft looking.

Jesse grinned and grabbed two, handing one to Hanzo. He took a huge bite and motioned for Hanzo to try it.

Hanzo looked it over carefully and smelled it before he took a small bite. His eyes lit up and he took a much larger bite, rivaling Jesse’s.

Jesse took a quick glance at him and stopped eating for a second. The other man had a huge smile on his face and he was more relaxed than he'd ever seen him. Hell, even asleep the man looked tense.

Before Jesse realized though, Hanzo had finished his pastry and seemed like he was trying his hardest to not stare longingly at the plate sitting in front of him.

Gabe caught on though and pushed the bread closer towards him, “When I said help yourself I actually literally mean, help yourself. Me and Jackie can't eat all of these and they'll just go to waste if someone doesn't eat them!”

Hanzo flushed at being caught but nodded thankfully at Gabriel. He took another  _ concha _ , eating it slowly and savoring the taste.

“...you like sweets, darlin’?” Jesse asked quietly.

Hanzo jumped a little and flushed a brighter red, but huffed out with as much dignity as he could, “Yes I do. What of it.”

Jesse held up his hands in defense, “Meant nothin’ by it, sweetheart. ‘M glad yah like ‘em, just wasn't expectin’ yah to like ‘em that much.”

He leaned back in his chair a little, “Never seen yah that happy tah bee aitch.”

“...I just...like cakes. They are admittedly...a weakness,” the other man responded quietly. “I do not indulge in them often, but when I do, I suppose I go overboard.”

He chuckled to himself, “Though Genji would say that that is an understatement.”

Jesse smiled softly and finished his own pastry before grabbing one more. 

“Well I’d say since we are pretty darned close to releasing our first album, now’s a good time as any to indulge!” Jesse held up his  _ concha _ to Hanzo, to which the man snorted and held his own half eaten one to Jesse’s in a fake toast.

The two spent the rest of the time working their way through the rest of the  _ pan dulces _ , though Jesse called it quits after two, Hanzo managed to eat the other eight (to Jesse and even Jack and Gabriel’s amazement).

\---

It would be inevitable that The Noodle Dragons would eventually go on tour. And even more inevitable that they’d get booked in Japan.

When Genji found out that one of their stops would be Tokyo, he remembered the little shop that the two brothers spent countless birthdays at. He was sad he couldn't take Hanzo to the same place they'd go to as children, but he found out that there was a very popular cake buffet in Tokyo.

Hana had heard about it too and the two decided, at first separately but later together, to go there at least once.

Genji asked Hana to not tell the others, as he wanted it to be a surprise. Hana agreed.

It was a bit expensive and in comparison to when they were kids, it was much less luxurious because they would be crammed into one table, but the look on Hanzo’s face when he saw the sign was priceless.

_ Just like when we were kids, _ Genji thought.

“You alrigh’ honeybee?” Jesse asked Hanzo.

Hanzo just grinned and grabbed his hand to drag him in, “Let’s go! Their strawberry shortcake is legendary all over Japan!”

Jesse laughed and let himself be dragged along, while Lucio, Hana, and Genji stayed back. Now, Lucio and Hana had seen Hanzo relax little by little over the past two years, but this was the most carefree either of them had seen him and they couldn't help but be confused.

“What was--” Lucio began.

“The hell even--” Hana muttered. 

Both turned and shouted at the same time, “Was that actually Hanzo?!”

Genji had to clutch his stomach because he was laughing so hard. He patted the two on their backs and began to walk inside, “My brother really loves sweets.”

The two glanced at each other, shrugged, and joined Genji, only to walk in and see their great stoic edgelord of a leader rolling on his tiptoes to see around the line. He was gesturing to Jesse to all the cakes excitedly and damn did the other man look smitten.

He caught sight of the rest of the band and flushed, remembering he was supposed to act as their leader. Hana frowned but pointed at the cakes and grinned for him. He glanced at the display and even though he wasn't hopping with the same sort of uncontrollable energy, his cheer didn't completely disappear.

They were able to get a table in a reasonable amount of time and were immediately off. They only had one hour to eat as much cake as they could. Hana and Lucio both loaded up one plate with as much variety as they could. Genji opted for the more fruity things and added more tarts than anything else. Jesse stuck with various cheesecakes as he was admittedly more of a savory eater instead.

Hanzo on the other hand.

Everyone but Genji (who shook his head but was the opposite of surprised) stared at his plate in disbelief. It was packed with several layers or different kinds of cake and pastries.

“Are...are you gonna be able to finish all that, man?” Lucio asked.

“That’s...that's a fuckton of cake, Hanzo,” Hana continued.

“Yeah darlin’, I know you like sweets but ain't that a lot?” finished Jesse.

Hanzo only shook his head and took his first bite. The others watched in awe as Hanzo seemed to relax and practically glowed.

The others ate slowly as they watched Hanzo demolish the first plate. He sighed happily before stand back up and made his way back around with a second full plate. And a third. And a fourth. And by the time the fifth plate rolled around, the timer on Genji’s phone went off for their five minute warning. The rest of the band managed to get through maybe two plates before they needed to call it quits on the cakes and eat something a little savory in between.

Hanzo however, ate nothing but cake. All five plates. And he seemed to be considering a sixth plate before Genji grabbed his arm and pointed at his phone.

The older man frowned down at his plate, as he'd finished most of the cake but nodded. He looked a little put out but slowed down to really savor his last few slices.

After they left, Hana, Lucio, and Jesse hung back with Genji to ask him about all that and was Hanzo going to be okay after eating all that?

Genji only shrugged but laughed, “I told you. My brother really loves sweets.”

**Author's Note:**

> Note:  
> yah-you  
> 'em-short for them  
> 'o-short for of  
> papá-dad (just a note, Jesse calls Gabe papá and Jack 'pops')  
> tah bee aitch-to be honest/tbh  
> ain't-isn't/are not  
> Also, a lot of words Jesse says that end in either -ing or a hard consonant, usually that last consonant gets dropped.
> 
> Conchas are those delicious delicious Mexican sweet breads that have like the brightly colored cracked top? I usually get them with pink or yellow tops but I've seen them with brown and white tops too. Probs a bunch more exist? There's apparently a Japanese bread called melonpan that looks very similar to a concha...I don't know what those taste like but I imagine they're also delicious. (Like seriously who doesn't love sweet bread. I guess, unless you don't but that's coo more for me, hah.)
> 
> Anyway, I will post the stuff that happens in between in the coming weeks. I've got some stuff as like backup to post in between. But yeah I'll get back to work for the other fic...just gotta figure out how to get the words written.
> 
> (Also if you see anything that should be fixed up, let me know! I try edit it as much as I can but something always gets missed...oh and if anyone wants me to do a little translation/guide on Jesse's accent, let me know!)


End file.
